Quote of the Day

"My friend John goes pee on the potty, Mum! Him has big-girl underpants!"

Dr. Bean, MD

Bean loves going to the doctor, and she constantly talks about her pediatrician. This comes in handy, kind of like Santa Claus, when we try to convince her to eat her vegetables or brush her teeth. "Dr. B. said big girls need to eat their peas..." Works like a charm. Sometimes.

Anyway, she recently started pretending to be Dr. B. I have a blood blister on my pinky that just won't go away. She has to be sure to "kiss my boo boo to make it feel better" at least twice a day, and yesterday she decided she would fix it once and for all - with her toy Craftsman drill. She also had to use the drill to take my "temp-asure" in my armpit, which of course required a lot of shirt-wrangling and contortion on my part. "You no have a fever, Mum. You don't need medicine." [Surely she was thinking, "More medicine for me!" - will post on that subject shortly.] Finally, the drill doubled as a "telescope" to listen to my heartbeat.

The healing-by-drill was a fun game, but I had to put the brakes on when she said, "You have a tummy ache, Mum. I make you feel better," as she lifted up my shirt and stabbed me in the stomach with a pencil. I did NOT see that one coming. I suggested that she focus her healing attention on her teddy bear. I'm sorry to say that if Boo Boo Bear didn't have a tummy ache before, he surely has one now.

My favorite Dr. Bean moment was when I was feeling blue a few days ago. She said, in her most tender voice, with a little hand on my cheek, "You are sad Mum? You want me to get you a band-aid?"

The girl is specific

Please may I have some delicious chocolate cake on a tiny breakable dish, Mum? 

How to buy a better mouse trap?

1. Spill ice cold soda on my lap on the way to Walmart. Try to walk quickly so other shoppers don't see my wet pants.
2. Search the hardware / housewares section for 20 minutes before finding a Walmart employee who directs me to the grocery section. (Of course! How did I not know mouse traps would be with groceries?!)
3. Select two packages of traps.
4. Proceed to  express lane.
5. Wait in line for 15 minutes because the person ahead has at least 80 items in his cart (how did he miss the huge "EXPRESS LANE - 20 Items or Less" sign?) [Side rant: Is it really that difficult to use the correct "Fewer?"]
6. Wait another two minutes while said express lane offender waits to hear his total before searching for his credit card and handing it to the cashier. [Is this your first time in a store buddy? Run it through the machine while you're being rung up....]
7. Wait as traps are rung up; pay $4.23.
8. Return to car to find that some one has parked his FJ Cruiser six inches from my driver's side door.
9. Climb in over passenger seat and drive home.
10. Smack hubby when he says, "Why didn't you just go to Home Depot?"
11. Realize the day can only improve from here.