OMG I'm a such a Nerm!

What is this "Nerm," you ask? My sister's fiance and his friends created this word in high school to describe nerdy moms. I laughed when I first heard it, immediately flashing to a mental picture of such a woman. Little did I know then that I would one day become the ultimate nerm...

Let's count some of the ways in which I am nermified.

First: my friends and family are all-too-familiar with my trucker's mouth. However, not wanting to pass this nasty habit on to my Bean, I have tried to clean up my act. I regularly say things like:

• Good gracious!


• Whoa, Nelly!


• Uh oh, spagettios!


• You're a silly billy!


• Geez, Louise!

Sometimes I slip a little, and have to recover, through gritted teeth:

FFFFFFFFFFFFF-u-u-unny dog....
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh-ugar!

And sometimes I really do slip and promise myself I'll try harder next time.

Anyway, I recently heard myself played back on a video that Hubby took saying "Good graaaaacious!" in my baby-talk voice and I realized what a dork I've become.

Other Nermy things of note:

• I sing along to the piped-in music at the grocery store. Out loud. And I don't care who hears me.


• I sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" - complete with the accompanying hand movements - in front of a bunch of people I didn't know trying to get Bean to smile while having her pictures taken at Picture People (and anyone familiar with my trucker's mouth is also painfully aware of my inability to carry a tune, even one as simple as Itsy Bitsy). Technically, also, I think that patronizing said photo store in the first place already qualifies as supremely nermy.


• The spot on my counter previously occupied by gin, vermouth, and Shiraz now has a lovely assortment of Juicy Juice, Organic Elmo crackers, and plastic sippy cups. (Those other things are still in my kitchen, of course - just not as readily accessible ;-)


• I have crazy kids' music (Old MacDonald B-I-N-G-O, Ten in the Bed, etc.) playing at most times, much to the horror of my friends when they stop by for a visit ("Who ARE you?")


• I have subscriptions to Parents magazine, Baby Talk, and Good Housekeeping (all of which are labeled "wicked dorky" by my co-workers)


• I traded my 5-speed Beemer for a station wagon. (OK, it's a Passat, but a wagon nonetheless.)


• The first thing I uploaded to my new iPod Touch was a Sesame Street video


• Etc., etc., etc.

I'm not really lamenting my nerm status here - just a little surprised by it. Apparently, dorkiness creeps up on you.

The Half Monty

Bean's favorite new trick is taking her pants off. Well, I suppose I shouldn't say off. She pulls them down around her ankles but can't get them over her slippers - so she just walks around with them like that, with this huge "Oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-how-clever-I-am!" grin on her face.

Apparently, she learned this at school from the-boy-who-always-takes-his-pants-off. When I dress her in jeans, she's fine, but those comfy elastic-waisted numbers just aren't cutting it these days.

Luckily, it's winter so she has a onesie on for extra insulation - otherwise I'm sure her diaper would be off too.

Mommy McVino

Bean and I went to visit my sister and her fiance this weekend. As I came down the stairs into the kitchen, my sister said in a serious voice, "I'm really worried about you."

She turned and pointed to a wine glass she had just removed from the dishwasher. "When Bean saw me take that out, she pointed to it and said, 'Ma-ma!'"

We laughed about it, but I was secretly horrified.

That is, of course, until a few minutes later, when Bean saw Nanny McPhee on the TV and ran over to the screen, pointing and yelling, "Dah-deee! Dah-deee!"

How do I love thee?

One truly does not know how much her parents love her until she too becomes a parent.

Thank you Mom; thank you Dad.

Symphony of toddlerese

Alternate title: What did parents do before baby monitors?

I love my baby monitor. It gives me freedom to move around the house, watch TV - even sit out on the deck - and know that if Bean wakes up, I will be able to hear her.

Most of the time it's just her cute little snore broadcasting over the air waves. Of course there's the occasional late-night cry, but thankfully those are few and far between these days. When she wakes up in the morning, Hubby and I sit down with our coffees and laugh as she performs her A.M. monologue. It usually goes something like this:


Mum-ma! Mum-ma! And when that doesn't bring anyone to the door: Dah-dee! Dah-dee! Didda-didda-dididididida! Mum-ma!

Next she likes to throw her pacifier, which for some reason she has named "Mimi," out of her crib and thus out of her reach.


Uh-oooooh! Mimi! Mimi! Mimimimimmiiiiiii! Mum-ma-mum-ma-mum-ma-Dah-deeeeee! Uh-oh! Uuuuh-ooooooh?

She's not distressed - just chatting along to herself, cracking up laughing every now and then. I know I should go to her, but I'd rather sit and listen!

Play it by ear - UPDATE

As I wrote in "Play it by ear," we've tried chiropractic treatments as an alternative to antibiotics for Bean's ear infections. I am happy to report that we visited her pediatrician today, and the double ear infection she had last week is gone after two gentle adjustments by Dr. B.!

Going forward, we'll go to the chiropractor for a quick adjustment when Bean has a cold, which is what usually precedes the ear infection, and this will, in theory, allow her Eustachian tubes to drain properly. It almost seems too simple to be true (read: why are peds pumping kids with antibiotics if such an easy, non-drug therapy is available?), but I've heard from so many people that this did the trick for their little one's ears. Only time will tell, but: so far so good.

Play it by ear...

This winter, Bean has had several ear infections. Each time she gets a runny nose or cold, no matter how fleeting or mild, her Eustachian tubes fill with fluid and become infected. Her doctor says "five or six infections a year is normal, and after that, we consider tubes." I find it hard to accept that half-a-dozen painful infections is "normal," and I really want to avoid the possibility of tubes. Furthermore, I'm not comfortable giving my Bean course after course of antibiotics - especially when the last three doses seem to have had no effect.

I asked Bean's pediatrician if there was anything we could do to prevent the ear infections, and she replied, "If you find out, let me know. Some kids are just prone to them." She wasn't interested in discussing any alternate therapies.

So, I started asking around and heard from several moms who had great success with chiropractic treatments. The premise is that when the vertebrae in the cervical spine area are out of alignment (which can occur during birth, through the many falls and tumbles toddlers take as they're learning to walk, etc.), the Eustachian tubes cannot drain properly and therefore are prone to infection.

So, we made an appointment with a chiropractor in the area - Dr. B. - who was recommended by several of the people I spoke with. Now, when I think "chiropractor," I think "snap, crackle, pop," so I was interested to see what the he would recommend (no way I was having Bean's spine cracked).

After going through Bean's medical history, Dr. B. showed us on his plastic skeleton how misalignment causes pressure on the nerves that allow the Eustachian tubes to open, causing them to remain closed. Removing that pressure lets them open up and drain, and any infection is cleared. Accomplishing this requires exerting gentle pressure in the affected area: behind the ear where the skull meets the spine. He demonstrated the tool he would use on my finger: just a gentle pop. Then he adjusted Bean on both sides, gave her a "I love my chiropractor" sticker, and we were off. She was not bothered by the procedure at all and ate up all the attention and high-fives she received from the staff.

We have a few more treatments to complete. So far I haven't seen any of the tell-tale signs of an ear infections, and she does have a cold: so this will be a true test. I really hope this does the trick. If not, I'll be searching for some more alternative remedies while also working with her pediatrician.

Besides anecdotal evidence from the moms I talked to, this article discusses studies that have found chiropractic treatment of ear infections extremely effective. This is compared to the usual approach of using antibiotics, which are not always effective and can actually make children susceptible to more infections.

I will post an update on this issue soon.

Whoever designed my laptop obviously does not have kids

WHY would one make the power button on an otherwise dull, black laptop key pad BIG, ROUND, SILVER, and SHINY?

At least once a day Bean is drawn to its sparkly siren song and MUST press it. Sometimes I think I've stopped her in time, but my screen betrays me with its "PREPARING TO HIBERNATE" message...and whatever I had been working on is gone.

Thanks, Sony.