Monday, January 5, 2009

How to buy a better mouse trap?

  1. Spill ice cold soda on my lap on the way to Walmart. Try to walk quickly so other shoppers don't see my wet pants.
  2. Search the hardware / housewares section for 20 minutes before finding a Walmart employee who directs me to the grocery section. (Of course! How did I not know mouse traps would be with groceries?!)
  3. Select two packages of traps.
  4. Proceed to  express lane.
  5. Wait in line for 15 minutes because the person ahead has at least 80 items in his cart (how did he miss the huge "EXPRESS LANE - 20 Items or Less" sign?) [Side rant: Is it really that difficult to use the correct "Fewer?"]
  6. Wait another two minutes while said express lane offender waits to hear his total before searching for his credit card and handing it to the cashier. [Is this your first time in a store buddy? Run it through the machine while you're being rung up....]
  7. Wait as traps are rung up; pay $4.23.
  8. Return to car to find that some one has parked his FJ Cruiser six inches from my driver's side door.
  9. Climb in over passenger seat and drive home.
  10. Smack hubby when he says, "Why didn't you just go to Home Depot?"
  11. Realize the day can only improve from here.

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