Purple poo

I recently got some new, blueberry-scented shampoo for Bean. The bottle is purple with the picture of a hippo on it, and she's developed a mild obsession with it, crying out several times a day:

Poooo! Purple poo! Pooo! Poooo! Purple poo! Purple poo poo! More poo!

Transcript 6

Hubby left for work before Bean woke up this morning, but he made her a special toast-and-applesauce octopus sculpture before he left.

Bean, eating breakfast: Dad-dee? Dad-dee?
Me: Daddy's at work, honey.
Bean: Daddy workin'.
Me: Yup. But he made you this special toast before he left. Wasn't that nice?
Bean, examining her toast, a huge smile forming: Good girl, Dad-deeee!

OMG I'm a such a Nerm!

What is this "Nerm," you ask? My sister's fiance and his friends created this word in high school to describe nerdy moms. I laughed when I first heard it, immediately flashing to a mental picture of such a woman. Little did I know then that I would one day become the ultimate nerm...

Let's count some of the ways in which I am nermified.

First: my friends and family are all-too-familiar with my trucker's mouth. However, not wanting to pass this nasty habit on to my Bean, I have tried to clean up my act. I regularly say things like:

• Good gracious!


• Whoa, Nelly!


• Uh oh, spagettios!


• You're a silly billy!


• Geez, Louise!

Sometimes I slip a little, and have to recover, through gritted teeth:

FFFFFFFFFFFFF-u-u-unny dog....
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh-ugar!

And sometimes I really do slip and promise myself I'll try harder next time.

Anyway, I recently heard myself played back on a video that Hubby took saying "Good graaaaacious!" in my baby-talk voice and I realized what a dork I've become.

Other Nermy things of note:

• I sing along to the piped-in music at the grocery store. Out loud. And I don't care who hears me.


• I sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" - complete with the accompanying hand movements - in front of a bunch of people I didn't know trying to get Bean to smile while having her pictures taken at Picture People (and anyone familiar with my trucker's mouth is also painfully aware of my inability to carry a tune, even one as simple as Itsy Bitsy). Technically, also, I think that patronizing said photo store in the first place already qualifies as supremely nermy.


• The spot on my counter previously occupied by gin, vermouth, and Shiraz now has a lovely assortment of Juicy Juice, Organic Elmo crackers, and plastic sippy cups. (Those other things are still in my kitchen, of course - just not as readily accessible ;-)


• I have crazy kids' music (Old MacDonald B-I-N-G-O, Ten in the Bed, etc.) playing at most times, much to the horror of my friends when they stop by for a visit ("Who ARE you?")


• I have subscriptions to Parents magazine, Baby Talk, and Good Housekeeping (all of which are labeled "wicked dorky" by my co-workers)


• I traded my 5-speed Beemer for a station wagon. (OK, it's a Passat, but a wagon nonetheless.)


• The first thing I uploaded to my new iPod Touch was a Sesame Street video


• Etc., etc., etc.

I'm not really lamenting my nerm status here - just a little surprised by it. Apparently, dorkiness creeps up on you.

The Half Monty

Bean's favorite new trick is taking her pants off. Well, I suppose I shouldn't say off. She pulls them down around her ankles but can't get them over her slippers - so she just walks around with them like that, with this huge "Oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-how-clever-I-am!" grin on her face.

Apparently, she learned this at school from the-boy-who-always-takes-his-pants-off. When I dress her in jeans, she's fine, but those comfy elastic-waisted numbers just aren't cutting it these days.

Luckily, it's winter so she has a onesie on for extra insulation - otherwise I'm sure her diaper would be off too.

Mommy McVino

Bean and I went to visit my sister and her fiance this weekend. As I came down the stairs into the kitchen, my sister said in a serious voice, "I'm really worried about you."

She turned and pointed to a wine glass she had just removed from the dishwasher. "When Bean saw me take that out, she pointed to it and said, 'Ma-ma!'"

We laughed about it, but I was secretly horrified.

That is, of course, until a few minutes later, when Bean saw Nanny McPhee on the TV and ran over to the screen, pointing and yelling, "Dah-deee! Dah-deee!"

How do I love thee?

One truly does not know how much her parents love her until she too becomes a parent.

Thank you Mom; thank you Dad.

Symphony of toddlerese

Alternate title: What did parents do before baby monitors?

I love my baby monitor. It gives me freedom to move around the house, watch TV - even sit out on the deck - and know that if Bean wakes up, I will be able to hear her.

Most of the time it's just her cute little snore broadcasting over the air waves. Of course there's the occasional late-night cry, but thankfully those are few and far between these days. When she wakes up in the morning, Hubby and I sit down with our coffees and laugh as she performs her A.M. monologue. It usually goes something like this:


Mum-ma! Mum-ma! And when that doesn't bring anyone to the door: Dah-dee! Dah-dee! Didda-didda-dididididida! Mum-ma!

Next she likes to throw her pacifier, which for some reason she has named "Mimi," out of her crib and thus out of her reach.


Uh-oooooh! Mimi! Mimi! Mimimimimmiiiiiii! Mum-ma-mum-ma-mum-ma-Dah-deeeeee! Uh-oh! Uuuuh-ooooooh?

She's not distressed - just chatting along to herself, cracking up laughing every now and then. I know I should go to her, but I'd rather sit and listen!

Play it by ear - UPDATE

As I wrote in "Play it by ear," we've tried chiropractic treatments as an alternative to antibiotics for Bean's ear infections. I am happy to report that we visited her pediatrician today, and the double ear infection she had last week is gone after two gentle adjustments by Dr. B.!

Going forward, we'll go to the chiropractor for a quick adjustment when Bean has a cold, which is what usually precedes the ear infection, and this will, in theory, allow her Eustachian tubes to drain properly. It almost seems too simple to be true (read: why are peds pumping kids with antibiotics if such an easy, non-drug therapy is available?), but I've heard from so many people that this did the trick for their little one's ears. Only time will tell, but: so far so good.