February Transcripts

Transcript 1:

Bean: I had fun going to dinner with you and Daddy, Mum!
Me: We had fun too! You did a good job eating your spaghetti.
Bean: I like 'spetti! Just me and Mommy and Daddy. Maggie [the dog] can't come.
Me: That's right; Mags stayed home.
Bean: Her can't come. Her's too big to fit in a high chair!
Me: That's right! Also, there are no dogs allowed in the restaurant.
Bean: Yeah! 'Cause her would poop on the floor!

Transcript 2:

Me: Bean, Friday is pajama day at school!
Bean: OK, Mum! I bring my crib, too!

Transcript 3:
Bean: I want to grow up to be a mommy, just like you, Mum!
Me (truly touched): Oh, honey, that's so nice! You do?
Bean: Yeah. So I can have GUM!


And a few quotes:

I put the trash in the psycho bin for you, Mum!

I did not dream some dreams last night, Mum. I try again tonight.

I got egg seeds at the store with Daddy! To grow eggplants!

That's Madison, Mum. Her's a big kid. Her has ear wings!

I have a little tiny bum, Mum. You have a big bum!

Not so green Bean

When I first offered Bean solid foods around six months of age, she was excited. She loved everything - everything - that I put in front of her, from cereal, to prunes, to beets, as well as the usual delicious suspects like carrots and apples. She loved avocados and mangoes, and when it was time to introduce meats she loved salmon and haddock and chicken. She loved her food so much she would hum "Num num num num" the whole time she ate, loving every moment of the (albeit pureed) culinary experience.

And then, suddenly, the tables turned. Around age 2 she decided she didn't like vegetables or meat any more. I could get her to eat a few peas or green beans, and maybe some meat sauce on pasta, but that's about it. Luckily she still loved berries and bananas and apples, and she liked whole wheat pasta, yogurt, cheese, eggs, etc. for protein. Now she's 2 1/2 and has decided that she also doesn't like most fruits. Getting nutritious food into her has become quite a challenge, and she's become equally skilled at avoiding it.

Last week I found the apples I had lovingly sliced stowed in her juice cup and heard her offering the dog some peas as a "treat."

Bean, did you eat your green beans with your lunch at school today? No, Mum. I did-dint. I can't like them.

Now Bean gets a lot of her fruits and veg in the form of yogurt smoothies (with peas, avocado, blueberries, spinach puree, and all sorts of yummy additions) and pasta with cheese sauce (including pureed squash, pumpkin, or carrot). Tomato sauce for pasta is also a great place to "hide" veggies and proteins that get gobbled with gusto. I've also discovered that "duck sauce" (applesauce with a little strawberry to make it pink) is a ready vehicle for brown rice and chicken.

I'm sure (I really hope!) that this, as with all kids' phases, too will pass, but in the meantime I should document some of her more creative strategies.

• Please have pudding, Mum? No, Bean, you can't have pudding with your breakfast. Maybe after lunch. Please have lunch, Mum?
  
• No thank you Mum. I no want my peas. Please put them in the fridge? I save them for high school.
• Here, Daddy. These are for you!
• I want something else, Mum! Something.....good!
• Please have some cookies Mum? No, honey, you need to eat some more lunch. Would you like some strawberries? No thank you Mum. Please have some cookies? No. Please? I said 'Please,' Mum!
• OK, Bean, I see you're not eating your dinner. Are you full? Ready to get down? All done, Mummy! [I clear her tray.] Please have something else Mum? [She gets a huge smile on her face and whispers] Somethin' good!

I always vowed that I not would bargain with her about food ("Eat your banana or there will be no dessert,") but that seems to be all that will work these days....unless I want her to live on pudding and cheese and crackers.

Quote of the Day

"My friend John goes pee on the potty, Mum! Him has big-girl underpants!"

Dr. Bean, MD

Bean loves going to the doctor, and she constantly talks about her pediatrician. This comes in handy, kind of like Santa Claus, when we try to convince her to eat her vegetables or brush her teeth. "Dr. B. said big girls need to eat their peas..." Works like a charm. Sometimes.

Anyway, she recently started pretending to be Dr. B. I have a blood blister on my pinky that just won't go away. She has to be sure to "kiss my boo boo to make it feel better" at least twice a day, and yesterday she decided she would fix it once and for all - with her toy Craftsman drill. She also had to use the drill to take my "temp-asure" in my armpit, which of course required a lot of shirt-wrangling and contortion on my part. "You no have a fever, Mum. You don't need medicine." [Surely she was thinking, "More medicine for me!" - will post on that subject shortly.] Finally, the drill doubled as a "telescope" to listen to my heartbeat.

The healing-by-drill was a fun game, but I had to put the brakes on when she said, "You have a tummy ache, Mum. I make you feel better," as she lifted up my shirt and stabbed me in the stomach with a pencil. I did NOT see that one coming. I suggested that she focus her healing attention on her teddy bear. I'm sorry to say that if Boo Boo Bear didn't have a tummy ache before, he surely has one now.

My favorite Dr. Bean moment was when I was feeling blue a few days ago. She said, in her most tender voice, with a little hand on my cheek, "You are sad Mum? You want me to get you a band-aid?"

The girl is specific

Please may I have some delicious chocolate cake on a tiny breakable dish, Mum? 

How to buy a better mouse trap?

1. Spill ice cold soda on my lap on the way to Walmart. Try to walk quickly so other shoppers don't see my wet pants.
2. Search the hardware / housewares section for 20 minutes before finding a Walmart employee who directs me to the grocery section. (Of course! How did I not know mouse traps would be with groceries?!)
3. Select two packages of traps.
4. Proceed to  express lane.
5. Wait in line for 15 minutes because the person ahead has at least 80 items in his cart (how did he miss the huge "EXPRESS LANE - 20 Items or Less" sign?) [Side rant: Is it really that difficult to use the correct "Fewer?"]
6. Wait another two minutes while said express lane offender waits to hear his total before searching for his credit card and handing it to the cashier. [Is this your first time in a store buddy? Run it through the machine while you're being rung up....]
7. Wait as traps are rung up; pay $4.23.
8. Return to car to find that some one has parked his FJ Cruiser six inches from my driver's side door.
9. Climb in over passenger seat and drive home.
10. Smack hubby when he says, "Why didn't you just go to Home Depot?"
11. Realize the day can only improve from here.